Another Painful Day in September.
Yes, this post is going to tells about how rude September to me.
Yes, September did it again.
And worse.
It's not about being left behind when physically is still there,
is about being left mentally and physically by someone who's there with you while you were growing old.
Its about my uncle, who's just passed away last night. September, 6th 2017.
My uncle, who had known as Tulang Vera was the nearest to my family than my other uncles or aunts. Yes, i have many uncles aunts. My mother has 7 brothers and 7 sisters, the elder one had passed away long time before i was born. So there's 13 left. Tulang Vera was born right after my mother, that's why they are so close to each other. Tulang Vera also the one that frequently come to my house since his house is near from my home just to have a chit chat with my parents. And it gets more often as a big disaster strikes his life.
I know he's stressed out. I know he's depressed. But what else can i do? I just can listening to my mother's story about him and then do nothing else. Until last night. When i know my closest uncle just passed away, i cried. He used to greet me when we accidentaly meet on the street then take me home with his motorcycle. Every time we met, he always says "how are you? how's school?". And now he's gone. God just call him away.
When you cursed a month so deeply, maybe it turns out cursing your life. I thought that i could pass this month on this year with no tears and cry and also pain, i thought that this month will be greatful because i have my new friend, i'm busy enough with campus's life and have no time for boys and heart break. I thought that i could survive at least for this fucking 30 days because i'm so tired of having a mental breakdown in every September since 2012. I thought after 4 years being scared of this month, in 2017 i could get free of this feeling. But i guess is not. This month turns out cursing me and i have no idea how to get out of it.
Please, God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't give me another bad things happens in September next year, i beg you. I'm sorry for have this hatred feelings for more than 4 years. I'm sorry.
And please take care of my uncle, Tulang Vera. You know that he's a kind hearted person, right? That's why you call him first. Take care of him and give him a good position beside You cause he's deserved it. Take care of his family who's left behind, Nantulang Vera and her 3 child, Kak Vera, Kak Carla and Revandy. They all good persons. Give them a big consolation and hopeful so they can live this life better than before. Because i know, there's always a beautiful rainbow behind every storm. Thank you, God.
Yes, September did it again.
And worse.
It's not about being left behind when physically is still there,
is about being left mentally and physically by someone who's there with you while you were growing old.
Its about my uncle, who's just passed away last night. September, 6th 2017.
My uncle, who had known as Tulang Vera was the nearest to my family than my other uncles or aunts. Yes, i have many uncles aunts. My mother has 7 brothers and 7 sisters, the elder one had passed away long time before i was born. So there's 13 left. Tulang Vera was born right after my mother, that's why they are so close to each other. Tulang Vera also the one that frequently come to my house since his house is near from my home just to have a chit chat with my parents. And it gets more often as a big disaster strikes his life.
I know he's stressed out. I know he's depressed. But what else can i do? I just can listening to my mother's story about him and then do nothing else. Until last night. When i know my closest uncle just passed away, i cried. He used to greet me when we accidentaly meet on the street then take me home with his motorcycle. Every time we met, he always says "how are you? how's school?". And now he's gone. God just call him away.
When you cursed a month so deeply, maybe it turns out cursing your life. I thought that i could pass this month on this year with no tears and cry and also pain, i thought that this month will be greatful because i have my new friend, i'm busy enough with campus's life and have no time for boys and heart break. I thought that i could survive at least for this fucking 30 days because i'm so tired of having a mental breakdown in every September since 2012. I thought after 4 years being scared of this month, in 2017 i could get free of this feeling. But i guess is not. This month turns out cursing me and i have no idea how to get out of it.
Please, God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't give me another bad things happens in September next year, i beg you. I'm sorry for have this hatred feelings for more than 4 years. I'm sorry.
And please take care of my uncle, Tulang Vera. You know that he's a kind hearted person, right? That's why you call him first. Take care of him and give him a good position beside You cause he's deserved it. Take care of his family who's left behind, Nantulang Vera and her 3 child, Kak Vera, Kak Carla and Revandy. They all good persons. Give them a big consolation and hopeful so they can live this life better than before. Because i know, there's always a beautiful rainbow behind every storm. Thank you, God.
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